Tastefully Tacky
Ladies, you can't let the bride-to-be head out without being properly accessorized! Remember that it's up to you to make sure that she is the center of attention wherever she goes. Does she need an inflatable penis or two to accent that hairdo? Try inflating some condoms with helium and attaching them to her for the night...you can be sure that no head will be left unturned. And, since you won't be inflating that entire box of condoms, get creative with the rest of them by trying them together with bows and making a broach, a corsage, or a hair accessory. In addition, instead of dressing her up in the normal "bachelorette" shirt or sash, write the word "BRIDE" in large letters on a white T-shirt. Then, write several random guy names all over the shirt. Tell the bride that she must find a guy with each of the names by the end of the evening and have sign the shirt next to his name and cross it out.
A Penis with Punch!
There's no denying that there's something funny about a gigantic inflatable penis. For twice the laughs, however, get one that doubles as a punching bag. The bride shouldn't be allowed to walk around without being a little hassled so make her drag around this sizeable gem for a little while (you can always deflate it if it gets old). You can get the monster six-foot number or a more manageable three-foot doozy (if you're feeling nice). Whichever you opt for, however, make sure that it never leaves the bride's side. It's ridiculously funny to make the blushing bride share spotlight dances with her new friend, especially if you can get the DJ to announce it to the crowd (as if they won't notice already). And, as the night progresses, it could be entertaining to let a select few brave men box the penis...if they dare, that is.
CautionˇBachelorette Party
Make sure you pick some party favors that are in your favor. While you might be amused by making the bride wear shackles and tote around a humungous inflatable penis make sure she has a little fun too! If you're arranging the outing, invest in some party favors that will keep you all entertained. You don't need to invest in a guide to bachelorette favors to pick some good ones, just think about what will keep the bride-to-be and her posse entertained (and contained). First and foremost, this is an exclusive party and you don't want anyone intruding, especially if you're out celebrating. You've seen that obnoxious black and yellow "Police Line Do Not Cross" caution tape, haven't you? Isn't it about time that you roped off your own potential crime scene? Order a roll of "Caution - Wild Girls" tape and section off your table or booth at the restaurant or club. Or, if you're really feeling wild, section off your own area of the dance floor. And, no matter what, don't let any outsiders in...except maybe the waitress whose bringing more drinks!
Feel the Vibes?
If you're going to have party games at your bachelorette event you're going to need to have prizes for the winners. And, believe it or not, a penis straw won't always do. If you really want to create a buzz amongst the guests try getting some "sweet" vibrators. These little gems should be the number one gift in any guide to bachelorette party favors. Now, admit it or not, we've all seen a vibrator before so you can stop acting shocked. And, even if they never get used, you can order some vibrators that are truly funny. You can get portable one-speed pocket vibrators in funny cases that resemble popular candies. Think "Betterfinger," "Toot-z-Pole," and "100 Orgasms." As you hand them out, however, remind the winners that they each require 1 AA battery that is not included.
A Little Naughty Can be Nice
You don't have to read a guide to bachelorette party favors and decorations to know that naughty is where it's at. The most popular things displayed and handed out at bachelorette parties tend to resemble male body parts. It's all in good fun, of course, as the main purpose of these functions is to give the bride-to-be some good-natured embarrassing fun before her single life ends. If you're planning the party, go crazy...why shouldn't you?! Stock up on some penis-shaped drinking containers and penis straws to serve cocktails in and serve appetizers and snacks on penis-printed plates. The future bride will surely be blushing but, c'mon, she'll only have one to look at for the rest of her life from now on!
Let Her Feel the Pain
Kissing the single life goodbye can be hard to do and it's important that the future bride knows what she's getting herself into. To add some extra fun and embarrassment to the evening, weigh the bride-to-be down with some decorative shackles or a ball and chain (just make sure they're plastic, ladies). It's loads of fun to see the bride trying to go about normal activities while weighted down (especially dancing). Don't make her suffer to long though, especially if she's having a really hard time. It's okay to release the prisoner after a couple of hours. As with any other bachelorette activity, take the bride into consideration before springing this on her. Will she think it's funny or will she be offended? Make sure she's having a good time and remember that this is all in good fun.
You, Baby, are a Seven
Have you really got all the bachelorette party supplies that you need? I think not. In a world full of male gawkers and cheesy pick-up lines isn't it about time that we subjected our male counterparts to a taste of their own medicine? Don't you dare think you're finished shopping for the big event until you've placed an order for some male rating score cards. Now, we've all seen at least a smidgen of a figure skating competition so we know how these things work. Someone performs and then is judged accordingly on a basic numerical scale. Now imagine using this same system to rate men based solely on their looks. You can't even deny that this idea has possibilities! Remember, however, before you hold up that "1" card that men have feelings too and these cards aren't meant to be hurtful. You should set a firm rule that the cards are only to be used in good fun an that no one should unjustly be dealt a card under a five. There are, however, extenuating circumstances that could earn a man such cards (stupid pick-up lines, rude comments, cockiness, etc.). Use all cards with caution.
Bachelorette Gift for Him?
At the end of the bachelorette party the bride with have armfuls of naughty gifts and each guests will have a goodie bag and a penis shape balloon. Wait a minute, aren't you forgetting someone? While it's true that the bachelorette party is all about the bride and her girls, hasn't the groom earned himself a little something too? In reality it's not just the bride's big day and it's a really nice gesture to arrange for the husband-to-be to have something to take home (aside from his partied-out bachelorette). On the invitations request that each guest bring one tool (it might be a good idea to specify which one so that you don't end up with six hammers and three screwdrivers). if all goes well you'll be able to present the groom with the new household's first complete tool set. Okay, you're probably on to me by now...we all know that the bride will benefit just as much as the groom from this gift. She'll be getting her very own handy man but he'll be too blinded by the good gesture to know any better.
Make your D¨¦cor To Go
Decorations are key for a killer bachelorette party but what fun are they if everyone can't enjoy them? Putting the spotlight on the bride-to-be at all times is half the fun. Make sure that everyone knows of her presenceˇeven when in route! Before you break them out know that there are much more creative ways to decorate your car or limo than streamers and a penis shape balloon (okay, along with the streamers and the penis shape balloon). The first thing you'll want to do is to write messages in shoe polish all over the windows (don't worry, it washes off) but be careful not to hinder visibility for the driver. Next, attach car flags to the vehicle that will flap proudly in the breeze announcing that there are bachelorettes on board. Don't forget to slap on some festive door magnets, a rearview mirror card, and, for goodness sake, you better attach some things to the bumper!! Some places, like bachelorettesuperstore.com, sell kits that come complete with most of the items listed above. Buying these items in bulk will cost you a lot less than buying them individually.