You Are A Person Of Worth
Not all surprises are good ones. Breaking up unexpectedly with your boyfriend or girlfriend is a bad surprise. Sometimes the break up can be a very unfriendly experience. You feel rejected. You may even start questioning your worth. When a break up happens, it is important to step back and breathe. Don't take responsibility for everything that went wrong. Realize that if your partner no longer wants to be with you, you shouldn't want to be with someone who feels that way about you. Look for ways to change your day-to-day routine so you don't feel your partner's absence. Look to the future and try to learn from your past relationship.
Differences That Spell Trouble
In his book, "Finding the Love of Your Life", Dr. Warren writes, "If you and I had the time, we could tell one story after another about couples who had some differences and still built a satisfying marriage together." It is still important to consider what differences could cause most trouble in a marriage. Dr. Warren lists the following:1)Energy Level--When one person has a lot of energy and the other person has very little, we have the makings of major problems.2) Personal Habits--When two people differ here, there can be a slow and steady erosion of their union. Some of the habits that can create conflict include punctuality, cleanliness, orderliness, dependability, responsibility and weight management.3) Use of Money--This is listed as the number one or two reason why couples divorce. Money management should definitely be discussed prior to marriage.4) Verbal Skills and Interests--Having similar interests and being able to share thoughts is very important for long-term happiness. Couples should take time to access these four areas while they are dating; if not addressed, they can cause trouble later in marriage.
Moving Beyond The Pain
We have all known someone who has been rejected by a girl/boyfriend. (Heck, that someone could be you!) Rejection is difficult to deal with, even more so for individuals who grew up being rejected by family or friends. In order to move past the pain, such individuals need to be around people who build up their worth and are trustworthy. If you or a friend are trying to deal with rejection, remember a good support system is a good way to get over feelings of rejection. Spend time that you would have normally spent with your ex- with your friends. Start new routines. Try new activities. Now is the perfect time to re-invent yourself! You'll like the new you that arises from the ashes of your old relationship.
How Rejection Can Help You
It`s hard to deal with rejection at any age. But think about it this way: If you were never rejected by anyone you dated, you would probably marry the first person you dated and miss out on all those great relationships throughout the rest of your life! Ultimately, rejection gives us the opportunity to meet new people and have new experiences. Rejection also makes us stronger. Every time we survive a bad break up, we are stronger for it and are more mentally ready to meet the next person who could be that 'special someone.'
Until You Know Someone
Thanks to technology, singles today can date people from every walk of life. This advance means that they can date people from outside of their hometowns, their church communities, their local high schools and universities, so they no longer know if their dates share their same values and standards. If you do not know the values of your date, the easiest way to find out is to ask. Give your date hypothetical situations and see how he/she responds; treat it as a fun Q&A! If you continue to date, their standards and values will be come more apparent in their actions. But until you know a person's values well, you should probably date in public places amongst people where you feel safe.